


Cassandra, Who Had No Voice

by SahaasRani



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ableism, Abuse, Abusive Parents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Antisemitism, Asperger Syndrome, Bad Parenting, Bigotry & Prejudice, Bullying, Canon Autistic Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Jewish Character, Child Abuse, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fat Shaming, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Physical Abuse, Racism, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Verbal Abuse, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-26 21:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 32
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SahaasRani/pseuds/SahaasRani
Summary: This is the story of a young girl with a good heart and a strong will, who battled abuse, prejudice and her own insecurities to reach great heights and find love in her life.





	1. Chapter 1

Janury 1, 2006

Dear Dairy,

Today is the furst day of 2006. It is Sunday. Last night I stayed up till 12 pm. Normaly I can only stay up till 8 pm. Yestrday was a specil day. This year I will be 6 years old. I was born on March 10, 2000 so my age is always the last letter of the year un less it is before March 10.

\- Cassie


	2. Chapter 2

Today is the last day of Hanakah. We celebrat Hanakah because the Mockabees beat the bad guy Antiokas. They only had   
enugh oil for one day but G-d made it work for 8 days. We get latkes to eat made out of potatos. We get to play with draydels. My Bubbe gave me this book to as a present.

\- Jacob Goldstein


	3. Chapter 3

January 3, 2006

Dear Diary, 

Today is the second day of school this year. My school is Linda Brown Elementry. Linda Brown got baned from school a long time ago becus she was black but she went to school aneway. I am hapy that we do not ban black peple from school anemore. Then we wold have to ban my frend Adema. Adema is from a cuntry called Gana in Africa. Adema told me that Gana is a cuntry where peple eat spicy food and sing and dance a lot.

\- Cassie


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for child abuse.

Jamuary 5, 2006

Dear Diary,

Today I was bad. I did not put away my toys so I got hit. Then I got loked in my closet. I cryed becus it was dark and I was skared. Mom laffed at me becus I cryed.

\- Cassie


	5. Chapter 5

January 6, 2006

Dear Dairy,

I played with my frends today. My frends are Emily Adema and William and sumtimes I play with James Freddy Mary and Harriet. I feel good with my frends.   
I wuld feel sad if I did not have my school or my frends. We play on the swings the grass and we draw with crayons.

-Cassie


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for ableism and child abuse

January 9, 2006

Dear Dairy,

Today Mom went to Dr Pelican. Dr Pelican is funner than Dr McKee who gives us shots and puts termometers in my mouth. Dr Pelican asks me questuns and lets me play with toys. It is fun. Mom had a folder from Dr Pelican. She hit me and said I disapointed the family. I did not do any thing bad. I am sad.

\- Cassie


	7. Chapter 7

January 10, 2006

Mr and Mrs Allen,

We have recently been informed that your daughter, Cassandra May Allen, has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. We believe that our school, which values empathy, teamwork and cooperation and sets high standards for our students, is not the right fit for her. We cannot accomodate the challenges associated with such a disability. Please find appropriate education for her by the end of this month.

Thank you,

Principal Mark Liamson


	8. Chapter 8

January 12, 2006

Dear Dairy,

I am baned from school. I do not know what I did to get baned. I wish I was prettyer and better. I wish Mom liked me more. I wish I was not baned.

\- Cassie


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for antisemitism

January 13, 2006

Today I was playing on the playground when two boys came and said "Jew boy" and pointed to my Star of David necklice. They said that Jews only want to take all the money and get stuff. They said that I should go in an oven. I am very upset. I am proud of my religon.

\- Jacob Goldstein


	10. Chapter 10

January 15, 2006

Dear Diary,

Today I goed to church. Church is fun. My parents go to see the surmon and I go to Sunday School. We lerned about Jesus today. We lerned how he went to someones house and there were two girls named Mary and Martha. Martha gave Jesus presents but Mary sat and talked to him. Jesus said that it is better to show love for God than to spend money for Him.

\- Cassie


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this entry is from the PoV of an unremorseful child molester, there is a lot of victim blaming and squicky descriptions of children. Also some misogyny.
> 
> I felt ill just writing this chapter...

January 18 2006

Five Reasons Girls are Sexier than Women:

1\. The innocence

2\. An adult woman will demand nearly everything in your bank account before she opens her legs. Young girls are happy with candy or toys.

3\. Small slender bodies are sexier

4\. If they are afraid of their parents they will keep their mouths shut.

5\. You know you're the first.

\- Dudley Fox


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, major trigger warning. Slurs in this chapter.

January 20 2006

All my past conquests:

1\. Emma Snow, 10. She claimed she didn't want it but her body said otherwise.

2\. Katya Borisovna Smirnova, 7. During a winter holiday to Russia. I knew I wouldn't get caught because I would be back in California by the time she snitched.

3\. Hannah Hyunh, 8. She seduced me. Slut. By far the worst.

4\. Joan Evans, 3. Her mouth said no but the dress she was wearing...

5\. ??? I have my eye on several girls in Miss Key's class, where I am an assistant...

\- Dudley Fox


	13. Chapter 13

January 25, 2006

Dear Diary,

Tody my frend Cassie told me she is geting baned from scool. I am sad. I wil mis Cassie. She is sad to.

\- Adema


	14. Chapter 14

January 27, 2006

Today Cassandra came over to play trains and watch Power Ranjers. She likes princesses but she watches Power Ranjers with me. She makes me put the volume on low. 

I told her about the boys who called me Jew boy. She said that I should tell the teacher. She said that it is not bad to be Jewish. I used to not ware my Star of David but now I will ware it again.

\- Jacob Goldstein


	15. Chapter 15

January 29, 2006

Dear Diary,

Tomorow is the furst day of my new school. It is Fairdale Elementry School and is named after Fairdale, California where we live. I miss Linda Brown Elementry School. I still do not know what I did to get baned. I will try to make new frends here.

\- Cassie


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's everyone's unfavorite gross pedophile again!

February 1, 2006

Five Potential Lovers in Miss Kay's Class

1\. Emily Jones

Emily has beautiful blue eyes and is so small compared to her peers. She is also very flexible as I have seen during recess.

2\. Jane Jennson

Jane is very quiet and I feel she is innocent. Problem is that she does not keep secrets well.

3\. Amanda Harris

I think Amanda's father is fooling around with her. Of course that detracts from innocence but she knows what to do and can keep a secret. There's no reporting to her parents either...

4\. Mei Han

Mei Han has an exotic look. She is my little cherry blossom concubine.

5\. Cassandra Allen

She is so innocent and I just want to DEFILE her. Of course she doesn't like being touched very much, but she'll do anything to be loved it seems.

\- Dudley Fox


	17. Chapter 17

We are having a field trip to Strawberry Farms on Friday, February 10! Please return with parent and student signatures.

Student:___________  
Parent:____________

Thank you,  
Miss Kay


	18. Chapter 18

February 3, 2006

I do not think anyone likes me. I am too fat and too ugly. I am too weird and I have brown skin. I wish I looked like Barbie or Bratz.

\- Cassie


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for ableism by the title character

February 6, 2006

Dear Diary,

Today I did OT. In OT there is a boy named Andrew who does not know how to read even thow he is eight years old. He is short and fat. Miss Mary my OT teacher said he has Down syndrome. I do not like Andrew. He screams at me.

\- Cassie


	20. Chapter 20

February 8, 2006

Dear Diary, 

Mr Fox is the classroom aid. He is so nice. He helps us pack our backpacks. He likes to hug me and he kissed me on the cheek. He gives me candy.

\- Cassie


	21. Chapter 21

February 9, 2006

Dear Diary,

I like Cassie. She is a gud frend. We sumtims et lunch togeter. She avoids me a lot. She avoids everyone a lot. I think she duz not like us.

\- Marci


	22. Chapter 22

February 9, 2006

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow is the feild trip! I'm so excited!

\- Cassie

February 9 2006

Tomorrow is the field trip. I am writhing with anticipation.

\- Dudley Fox


	23. Chapter 23

February 10, 2006

Dear Diary,

I just want sumeone to love me.

\- Cassie


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR trigger warning for sexual assault from the pedophile's PoV.

February 10, 2006

Today the most beautiful of unions, the love that is forbidden and taboo, has taken place. We were almost impeded by our Gestapo-like police state, but quick thinking saved our relationship. Cassandra had to use the restroom, so I took her. Afterwards, I told her to come with me to a barn which was not in use until the fall. I paid her with chocolates to give me a kiss, and made out with her for several minutes. Writing this is too much... I need to take a break. I will finish writing afterwards.


	25. Chapter 25

February 10 2006

I lifted up her dress, and looked at her beautiful body. She is so small and helpless, and has this far-off look in her eyes... I kissed her again, then I touched every inch of her... She stopped speaking, and averted her gaze. I looked deep into her eyes, I did not let her flinch. Forcing eye contact is one of the most primal symbols of dominance. Especially if the other person is smaller than you, weaker than you, and is at the same time engaged in sexual activity. The feeling of power and arousal at the same time is the best feeling in the world. I will never forget Girl #5. 

When I got up to check my watch so as not to arouse suspicion, the little bitch got up, pulled her dress back down, and ran away. She opened the door before I could block it, and I ran after her. Once she started speaking again, she screamed saying she did not like the way I touched her. Images of myself in handcuffs, police sirens roaring behind me, raced through my head. But quick thinking saved the day. 

"I am so sorry," I explained. "My poor student suffers from autism. She is simply having a meltdown." 

Rather than certain doom and the wrath of an intolerant world, I was met with sympathy and pity.

\- Dudley Fox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some portions of his journal were omitted for sexual explicitness.


	26. Chapter 26

February 14, 2006

Today is Valentines Day. I gave a valentine to everyone at school. I gave a valentine to Cassandra. I gave her a hug. She pushed me away. I think she is mad at me.

\- Jacob Goldstein


	27. Chapter 27

Febuary 15, 2006

Dear Diary,

I am sad and mad becuse of what hapened at my feild trip. I hate Mr James. I hate myself. I do not want to be tuched. I do not want to talk to anyone. I want to be in my room. I want to be alone. Now it is Friday. I will not invit my frends home. I sometimes invited frends over at Linda Brown Elementry. That was befor I got baned.

\- Cassie


	28. Chapter 28

Febuary 18, 2006

Dear Diary,

Today Mom came into my room. She yelled at me and I cryed. I asked her to leave. She screamed at me and I screamed back. She hit me and I was bad and hit back. Now I lose tv priviliges for the week end.

\- Cassie


	29. Chapter 29

Febuary 20, 2006

Dear Diary,

I fighted with Fred on the playground today and went to see the principle. He chased me around. The principle said if you don't run he won't chase. But I was still scared. Also Andrew takles me in OT and Kala my other OT class mate trys to look under the stalls in the girls's bathroom. I am scared and I scream and cry and panic and I get in truble and the teachers and the other kids laff at me. I do not want to live anymore.

\- Cassie


	30. Chapter 30

Febuary 24, 2006

Deer Dairy,

Thare is this gurl named Cassandra who is a buly. She yels at every body and screems at us. She gets in truble a lot. She makes fun of our names. She calls me stoopid.

\- Emily


	31. Chapter 31

September 23 2008

Dear Diary,

Today is the first day of second grade. I like second grade. I will miss summer. My teacher is Mrs. Nicholls. My neighbor Jacob is going to the fourth grade. His teacher is Mrs Kayiran.

\- Cassandra Allen.


	32. Chapter 32

September 25 2008

Dear Diary,

Today I got a D on my project. The teacher took away points for not following directions.

Cassandra Allen


End file.
